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The Bastard Traveler

Recline and Die.

The Bastard is Skipping this Popsicle Stand

April 30th, 2008 by thebastardtraveler

The Bastard decided he had had enough with the advertisements (which often took a looooong time to load) and some other niggling annoyances with his blog host. As such he has MOVED THE FUCK ON. As always, you can find the Bastard at thebastardtraveler.com (or simply bastardtraveler.com for you keystroke-counters). Don’t worry – all the posts and comments have been perfectly preserved for your enjoyment!

FUCKING CLICK HERE TO GO THERE NOW, JACKASS!

The Bastard graciously thanks the folks at Baywords and wishes them luck in their new blog platform.


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Look for the Bastard on Fucking Facebook

April 19th, 2008 by thebastardtraveler
THE BASTARD HAS MOVED TO HTTP://THEBASTARDTRAVELER.COM
CLICK TO GO THERE NOW!

Everyone says Facebook is the shit when it’s not broadcasting the crap you buy to everyone else. I don’t know why you’d want to be friends with a dick like me but here you go.
Bastard Traveler's Facebook profile


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The Bastard is Enraged with Envy

April 19th, 2008 by thebastardtraveler
THE BASTARD HAS MOVED TO HTTP://THEBASTARDTRAVELER.COM
CLICK TO GO THERE NOW!

A reader shares this tale that fills the Bastard with disgust and hatred:

When I got to the airport, there was nobody in the security line. I could hardly believe it. I breezed through security in less than a minute. As I walked through the airport to my gate, I happened to walk past the one hour earlier Philadelphia flight’s gate, just after the final boarding call. I inquired about the availability of seats, and there were still plenty. So, I hopped on and the plane. The FA had given me a window seat (I go crazy in anything but the aisle), but the last 5-7 rows of the plane were close to empty so I just found an empty row and hunkered down. When I got off the plane, I called the parking shuttle and they were outside waiting when I walked out of the terminal. In the end, I was home at least an hour early.

The Bastard hates you. And also suggests you skip the shuttle and try an airport valet service instead. Thanks to The Knee Defender for his story. Fucking dick.


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Tell the Bastard!

April 18th, 2008 by thebastardtraveler
THE BASTARD HAS MOVED TO HTTP://THEBASTARDTRAVELER.COM
CLICK TO GO THERE NOW!

The Bastard Traveler knows what a shitty experience traveling can be, and how most of us would sell our grandmother for a 1st class seat for a NAT-JFK flight. He knows that nearly every trip, even the good ones, have a nugget of misery and humiliation that is begging to be shared. Tell the Bastard about it. You can email the Bastard at thebastardtraveler.20.tpk AT xoxy.net or submit your story in the comments below.

And by the way, for you newbies, the AT above isn’t actually “AT” but the @ sign. Get it? I doubt it.


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About The Bastard

April 18th, 2008 by thebastardtraveler
THE BASTARD HAS MOVED TO HTTP://THEBASTARDTRAVELER.COM
CLICK TO GO THERE NOW!

The Bastard Traveler is a fucking dick who travels extensively for work and pleasure, both domestically in the USA and internationally. He looks for ways to get a leg up on all you morons who travel once a year to grandma’s house and are utterly clueless about how travel really works. He is fucking pissed that you don’t know shit about what you’re doing and that your cluelessness clogs the process like rubber cement in a straw. This blog is to bitch about other travellers and provide tips, tricks and hacks to smart travellers.


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